Sunday Cycle 9th Feb 2014

Sunday Cycle  9th Feb 2014

A good attendance of cyclists today for what turned out to be a fairly good dry day for road biking.  Too many for a single group, so we separated ourselves into 2 groups.   The first group,  which some people would call the "fast” group contained the racers from the club.  I was tempted to join them myself this week,  but then reconsidered,  as the thought of Cathal and Johnny taking turns on the derny made me think that I maybe need another week  of intense personal training before I could hold pace.

Now,  to elaborate a little of how we name ourselves when there is more than one group.  There is the natural tendency, and very politically incorrect, to refer to the fast group and the slow group  (or even the less fast group).  This can be offensive to those folks whose skills on the bike have been honed to emphasise  the less financially rewarding aspects of cycling.

And so,  I propose that in future we label our teams via a colour.  So, today, we had the yellow jersey team and the green jersey team.  This, I think, worked particularly well today because, as the yellow team left the car park first,  they would be back home in the shortest time.   And more about the green jersey team later.

Padraig had assumed Tommie’s wind-watching duties for this weekend, and called out the proposed route. We would go to Bellaghy, Newbridge, Ballyronan, Ballinderry, Coagh, Stewartstown, Cookstown, where the cyclists could decide if they wanted to tackle Lough Fea or home via Moneymore.

With the wind in our backs to begin with, us in the Green group started off at a wyle fast rate  --  so fast that I was sure we would be able to land Johhny and Dessie (who were a wee bit late in arriving) onto the back of the Yellow team.

The pace did slow a bit when we turned the corner in Bellaghy.

It is funny how rumours start. 
At one stage, when cycling in the middle of the peloton, the rider to my right said  "Hi Barney, where do you buy your carbo-ethanol-vitamins from?  The boys here are all saying that you think its great stuff for muscle development and improving your cycling prowess”.

Now I was a little taken aback, and it took me a few seconds to respond. You see,  I had been talking earlier to another chap about carbo-ethanol-vitamins  (CEVs), but I was not exactly complimentary about the product.   The rider on my right had asked the question in all seriousness and so I could not quite compute what he was at.  I mumbled some sort of reply,  and so I’m sure he thought I was a right unsociable git.

Later,  when we stopped for a wee break/sugar intake  (there’s a song there),  I asked a few questions and put two and two together.  What had actually happened was this.
When I was at the front of the peloton, myself and the other boy up front were taking about CEV products (or Turbo-Carbs, as some folks refer to them).  I said that I had tried a certain brand once and that it had not agreed with me, the sight of it was revolting,  and that I thought it tasted like shite. 
Now, one of the riders directly behind heard this, and he repeated this to the chap beside him,  but, because he was a good-living sort of guy, he would not use the word shite,  but rather he said manure (ie "Barney says he tried it and he thought that it was revolting and tasted like manure”).   The message then went back to the third row, and it then got passed on that Barney thought that the product tasted like fertilizer.

The next row picked up on the word fertilizer and passed on the word that the product was good for growth and development and added that it gave you a great jolt  (I assume, a mishearing of the word reVOLTing).

By the time the story had reached the back of the peloton, the word was that Barney swore by this product and that it had improved his cycling capability immensely, particularly his speed out of the blocks. And people came up with evidence to support this, saying  "Have you noticed the way Barney seems to be taking a lot of the 30’s these days”.

Anyway,  we rode on, and half the green team went up Lough Fea and the rest taking the flatter route home via Moneymore.

Now,  as we were the Green jersey,  I’ll list the sprinting achievements today.  Hopefully I have not missed out or misplaced any victories.

Big Pete took one 30.

Dean had one, maybe two 30s.

Anthony Bradley,  the self styled "stealth warrior” had two,  but at least half of these were very dodgy, we all thought.  Anthony was really out to impress the judges today.  He still thinks he has a chance of winning the new cyclists award for 2012.

And finally me,  green jersey winner with a massive  four  30’s,  all hard won and fairly fought.
This is a feat which I think I will find hard to repeat,  so I’ll probably not be challenging again next week  (I might,  secretly, do a couple of lead-outs).   My long term ambitions for this year don’t really include the green jersey anyway.

Well done to all.